I Have Lived

I have lived my entire life crippled by fear,
Of rejection, of judgment, by everyone dear,
I am frozen in time by the inner critique,
All I wanted to be was someone unique.

I have lived my entire life forced in a role,
For other’s amusement, they trample my soul,
Until there is nothing of me to be seen,
I’m caught in a nightmare that feels like a dream.

I have lived my entire life battered and bruised,
By the jabs that society constantly mused,
Still fragile, still wounded by thoughts that detest,
Still crushed by this torturous weight on my chest.

I have lived my entire life smothered by fright,
Of everything dark that goes bump in the night,
Encased in a tomb and unable to see,
Beyond a horizon, that suffocates me.

I have lived my entire life stuck in a lie,
Caught up in a web, while my youth passes by,
I’m old and I’m weary, I’ve little that’s whole,
Except for this bitterness deep in my soul.

I have lived my entire life trifled and scorned,
When I uttered my feelings, my family yawned,
So my voice remained silent, my character bled,
From invisible wounds that maligned in my head.

I have lived my entire life waiting to purge,
My barren existence, it’s nothing but scourge,
That fills me with sorrow and treacherous pain,
It’s a pity this madness is no longer sane.

I have lived my entire life looking to save,
The part of my soul that is sullen and grave,
Will I ever be free of this darkness and blight,
That renders me paralysed deep in the night.

I have lived my entire life holding the hand,
Of a Warrior choosing to battle and stand,
Against those who belittle and skulk in the dark,
He reminds me my bite is far worse than their bark.

I have lived my entire life wanting a chance,
To prove I am more than just nothing to glance,
Will I ever be noticed, will I ever be free,
I have lived my entire life, grieving for me.

© The Complicated Bunny – 23 Aug 2020