I’m…

I’m scared if I do,
I’m scared if I don’t,
I’m scared that I will,
I’m scared that I won’t,
I’m scared that I can,
I’m scared that I can’t,
I’m scared that I am,
I’m scared that I aren’t.

I’m happy to live,
I’m happy to die,
I’m happy to laugh,
I’m happy to cry,
I’m happy to stay,
I’m happy to leave,
I’m happy to choke,
I’m happy to breathe.

I’m desperate to win,
I’m desperate to lose,
I’m desperate to wake,
I’m desperate to snooze,
I’m desperate to come,
I’m desperate to go,
I’m desperate to hide,
I’m desperate to show.

I’m trapped by a fog,
I’m trapped by a hole,
I’m trapped by a heart,
I’m trapped by a soul,
I’m trapped by a battle,
I’m trapped by a war,
I’m trapped by a window,
I’m trapped by a door.

I’m beaten by judgement,
I’m beaten by blame,
I’m beaten by stigma,
I’m beaten by shame,
I’m beaten by trauma,
I’m beaten by fear,
I’m beaten by anger,
I’m beaten by cheer.

I’m sorry I’m broken,
I’m sorry I’m sad,
I’m sorry I’m wounded,
I’m sorry I’m mad,
I’m sorry I’m bleeding,
I’m sorry I’m grave,
I’m sorry I’m cautious,
I’m sorry I’m brave.

I’m trying to conquer,
I’m trying to grow,
I’m trying to shelter,
I’m trying to flow,
I’m trying to open,
I’m trying to give,
I’m trying to salvage,
I’m trying to live.

© The Complicated Bunny – 19 Sep 2020