Guilty

You made me feel guilty for just being born,
You wanted a son, so I guess you were torn,
The others so precious, with me all alone,
They wanted a brother, I wanted a home.

You made me feel guilty for being a child,
Whose only desire was to play and run wild,
I couldn’t have friends and I couldn’t be free,
So I played in my head, where you couldn’t find me.

You made me feel guilty for things that I did,
Neglecting my needs, I was only a kid,
Yeah sure I had clothing and food for a snack,
But I wanted a mother who wanted me back.

You made me feel guilty for things that I said,
I was always at fault, it was all in your head,
Dismissed and ignored, never granted a voice,
I was told who I was, there was never a choice.

You made me feel guilty for things I would feel,
No comfort to offer, your heart made of steel,
Instead all confused with my heart in a mess,
I would suffer in silence, my soul in distress.

You made me feel guilty for just being me,
At twenty I knew I just had to break free,
I thought I’d escaped, but you reeled me back in.
And now it’s my childhood all over again.

You make me feel guilty at every turn,
I really do wonder, if I’ll ever learn,
I’m still the outsider, I’m still all alone,
I’m still looking for a safe place to call home.

© The Complicated Bunny – 21 Oct 2020