Shame

Should I be ashamed of the person I choose,
You see me as nothing, a thing to be used,
Not loved, only needed, my character flaw,
Was thinking your love was an actual score.

Should I be ashamed of the person I see,
When you violently hate all things I could be,
Exert independence and suffer the fate,
Of a narcissist’s wrath and their rabid debate.

Should I be ashamed that I am who I am,
A black sheep that sprung, from a terrified lamb,
An outsider cast from the herd to the fray,
Left to fight for survival with each passing day.

Should I be ashamed of my weaknesses too,
When my illness dictates why I do what I do,
Your ignorance wreaks a deplorable stain,
On the subjects who enter the kingdom you reign.

Should I be ashamed that I can’t measure up,
When you’re constantly filling your half empty cup,
With malice and judgment, with anger and spite,
I know I’m your child, but what gives you the right.

Should I be ashamed I was born to this world,
My goals and ambitions so neatly unfurled,
To be shot down in flames by a treacherous creed,
That you spew when the narcissist in you must feed.

Should I be ashamed that my life is a sham,
Contorted and twisted by everyone’s plan,
I want to break free but I’m caught in a storm,
That preaches destruction whenever I’m torn.

Should I be ashamed, well I tell you I’m not,
I am blind to your views and malevolent plot,
For 52 years, you have had it your way,
Well not anymore, for my life is my say.

You should be ashamed, but you’ll never accept,
The terrible hurt and the blatant neglect,
Your love was a figment, but now it has burst,
I am finally willing to put myself first.

© The Complicated Bunny – 21 Oct 2020