I cannot think straight,
But I know I must write,
To purge all the demons,
That shadow the night,
The day time is haunting,
It feels so surreal,
I’m not sure reality,
Knows how I feel.
My mind is a jumble,
Unstable at best,
I walk a fine line,
It’s a path I detest,
Anxiety ridden,
C-PTSD,
Manic depression,
All fragments of me.
I look in the mirror,
At splinters of truth,
That open old wounds,
And plunder my youth,
Is it really my world,
That I see through my eyes,
Or am I just caught,
In contemptuous lies.
Who knows what the future,
Has clutched in its hand,
At the moment I feel,
I am buried in sand,
I itch but can’t scratch,
I weep but can’t cry,
My visions of hope,
Start to wither and die.
The nights are tumultuous,
Day time is worse,
I feel my whole life,
I’ve been born with a curse,
Not part of the living,
Not part of the dead,
I sometimes feel though,
I am trapped in my head.
My shields are now failing,
The mask starts to slip,
It’s harder to swim,
In societies rip,
Freedom’s no option,
There’s no place to hide,
I’m stuck having ‘fun’,
On this hideous ride.
So offer assistance,
Or grant me reprieve,
I’ve paid all my dues,
With my heart on my sleeve,
The world has chewed more,
Than it’s pound of my flesh,
I wanted connection,
It gave me this mess.
So back where we started,
I cannot think straight,
But I know I must write,
There’s a lot on my plate,
The demons unsettled,
The black dog amok,
I’d like to be free,
But I’m all out of luck.
© The Complicated Bunny – 21 Nov 2020
The Complicated Bunny 