Intimacy vs Isolation

The world moved on and here I stay,
Relationships fraught with dismay,
Entangled in a web of hurt,
My sense of self became inert,
And loneliness became my call,
A freak of nature after all,
Without a love to call my own,
This emptiness became my home.

An intimate design of fools,
I live not knowing all the rules,
Connection spawned a dark malaise,
That kept me captive all these days,
And turned into a life adrift,
With no more answers left to sift,
I am alone, with all I feel,
Just spinning on this crazy wheel.

And should I fear too much to tell,
Whilst stuck inside this raging hell,
A friendship born from rabid strife,
The world moves on without my life,
For I am trapped inside my head,
Relations where I fear to tread,
I’d rather be a lonely soul,
Than burdened with a gaping hole.

A gaping hole where once there lived,
Relationships that swore to give,
A comfort and a healing song,
When all they did was feast upon,
The goodness that I had to share,
They drained my soul without a care,
And so I choose to protect me,
From all the dangers that I see.

If that means being empty, well,
I guess I’m bound to live this spell,
Of solitude that keeps me safe,
And narrows all the thoughts that chafe,
Within my mind, within my heart,
I’m torn between the end and start,
The world move on, my tears have dried,
So loneliness can be my guide.

© The Complicated Bunny – 29 Jan 2022

This poem is the sixth in a series of poems based around Erik Erikson’s Stages of Psychosocial Development which is something my psychologist and I are currently exploring.