Mania You Dirty Dog

Mania you dirty dog,
Nothing can soothe your fateful fog,
From bouncing deep inside my brain,
And strangling what parts remain.

Mania you barren brute,
Who broke my head and stole the loot,
Then hurled me into no man’s land,
A state of flux I cannot stand.

Mania you bloodless beast,
Why is it in my mind you feast,
The anger pours like acid rain,
There is no cure for all this pain.

Mania you loathsome lout,
You only ever scream and shout,
Inside where sanity does hide,
There’s no one standing by my side.

Mania you wicked wretch,
The broken pieces that you fetch,
Will never fit the same again,
I’m fractured full of life’s disdain.

Mania you twisted tramp,
The rage and fear is all you amp,
No happiness to filter through,
I’m stuck like gum on someone’s shoe.

Mania you caustic creep,
You even steel my fragile sleep,
So I am neither here nor there,
But caught in limbo’s vacant stare.

Mania you ghastly ghoul,
The poetry my only tool,
To fight the darkness in the night,
Instead of freezing in my fright.

Mania you dirty dog,
You set the future all agog,
But I know better than to trust,
Your crazy enigmatic lust,

For when your madness starts to crash,
It’s me who feels the bitter clash,
Forever falling just to climb,
Through one more manic tortured rhyme.

© The Complicated Bunny – 16 Jul 2022

An Epic Heist

The cat in the hat,
Sat by the rat,
The bunny was ignored,
The dog in fog,
Was full of grog,
And next to bunny snored,
The rat begat,
The best of cat,
Contempt for bunny soared,
The cog of dog,
Was bogged in smog,
While hate on bunny poured.

The rat told cat,
I love your hat,
So bunny tried to schmooze,
But rat who spat,
Was backed by cat,
And lit poor bunny’s fuse,
That stupid hat,
That sat on cat,
Caused bunny’s rage to ooze,
So old dog’s cog,
Who woke agog,
Helped bunny plan a ruse.

The cat put hat,
Near rat on mat,
While bunny set the trap,
Dog tossed the grog,
Now set to flog,
The hat near bunny’s lap,
Whilst cat and rat,
Played on the mat,
The bunny grabbed the cap,
And dog’s old cog,
Was full of jog,
As bunny hid the crap.

The cat on mat,
Sat next to rat,
With bunny still at fault,
The dog whose fog,
Now barely smog,
Was waiting for the jolt,
The rat who sat,
Passed hat to cat,
With bunny in revolt,
The crap went splat,
On cat and rat,
As dog helped bunny bolt.

So back to cat,
And rat both splat,
By bunny’s awesome scheme,
The moral slog,
Don’t be a trog,
Or bunny’s rage will steam,
Now clean the mat,
You dirty rat,
While bunny’s off to dream,
That stupid hat,
Now full of scat,
Is busted at the seam.

© The Complicated Bunny – 15 Jul 2022

A manic sequel to my first take on a Dr Seuss classic. One of my favourite writers and a brilliant wordsmith.

The Toxic Shadow

Just like a toxic shadow,
Spreading chaos everywhere,
You creep and crawl relentlessly,
And hunger for despair,
The trauma you facilitate,
Dispersed without remorse,
Divides the shattered pieces,
In the wake of your discourse.

Just like a noxious cumulus,
You suffocate my needs,
There’s only air for you to grow,
Your narcissistic weeds,
An evil presence lurking,
With a smug sarcastic grin,
A rancorous existence,
Choking life from deep within.

Just like a nervous viper,
Jaws affixed with ruthless fangs,
A venom waiting for its prey,
Absorbed with human pangs,
No tenderness nor empathy,
Can fill that blackened hole,
You treat me like I’m damaged,
But it’s you who has no soul.

Just like a toxic shadow,
Your disgrace is all around,
But I am not your seventh son,
My life will be profound,
Devoid of all your bullshit,
And your petulant unkind,
It’s time for wings to spread,
And leave the narcissist behind.

© The Complicated Bunny – 12 Jul 2022

Injustice

I struggle with injustice,
‘Cause I want you all to pay,
For the abuse you summoned loose,
And decades of decay,
I so regret I cannot get,
Those years you stripped away,
Yes I struggle with injustice,
Every single wretched day.

I struggle with forgiveness,
For the anger fogs my brain,
I feel my heart might split apart,
If rage does not refrain,
From burning all that’s yearning,
In the throws of savage pain,
Yes I struggle with forgiveness,
And these tears of acid rain.

I struggle with surrender,
For to fight is all I know,
The endless pill of bitter ill,
Corrupts my urge to go,
Will darkest night always delight,
Or crush me from below,
Yes I struggle with surrender,
Like a seed that will not grow.

I struggle with indifference,
For I know I shouldn’t care,
The world projects what life neglects,
I’m trapped by fake compare,
The headlights suturing my frights,
Compounding all I dare,
Yes I struggle with indifference,
Drowning slowly in despair.

I struggle with injustice,
For I know you’ll never pay,
My thunder cast asunder,
Left to wallow in dismay,
But the abuse became obtuse,
When life became decay,
Yes I struggle with injustice,
But my truth will have its day.

© The Complicated Bunny – 11 Jul 2022

Detached

What happened to the world outside,
It seems so long ago,
That I had confidence to burn,
And ways to make things so,
But now I sit detached inside,
Not knowing what to think,
Removed from every single ride,
Life teeters on the brink.

The brink of strange reality,
But still familiar tones,
Do paint an awkward sanity,
That shakes my weary bones,
A part of me remembers,
But a greater part is numb,
Avoidance pulls the threads,
As fright and flight are overcome.

Inside my head I can escape,
But sometimes life reveals,
A complicated tryst of lies,
And truths my body steels,
I know I’m here, but yet I’m not,
The world seems far away,
This cold and damp obscurity,
Is where I choose to stay.

For it bequeaths a sense of calm,
Where all my parts can be,
Connected to a safer place,
Allowed to wander free,
Not ravaged by society,
Nor cursed as weak or fake,
Where silence heals the splinters,
Of a mind that wants to break.

What happened to the world outside,
It passed me long ago,
While I was stuck in no man’s land,
My illness stole the show,
And wrote a fractured fairytale,
Mankind would deem a curse,
But I embrace the rabbit holes,
They fuel my rhyme and verse.

© The Complicated Bunny – 10 Jul 2022

Jammed Up

I know we are supposed to love,
The body we are in,
But mine feels like a prison,
And the bars are my own skin,
I used to feel so light and free,
Like I could run for days,
But now my jam is hiding,
From the fear of constant haze.

I know we are supposed to love,
The person that we are,
But trauma shaped my destiny,
As one gigantic scar,
I wonder if I’ll ever be,
Content with who I am,
Instead of feeling broken,
By a past that haunts my jam.

I know we are supposed to love,
The life that we have made,
But sometimes it resembles,
Dancing on a rusty blade,
The edge is always moving,
And the dangers never wane,
From slicing manic dissidence,
Which paints my jam insane.

I know we are supposed to love,
The moment that we breathe,
By I was always trapped within,
This heart upon my sleeve,
No harmony to guide me,
Only narcissistic schemes,
My jam forever drowning,
In relentless ghastly dreams.

I know we are supposed to love,
The body we are in,
But still I struggle feeling,
Any comfort in my skin,
My prison needs to shatter,
So my jam can wander free,
And lead me to a grateful place,
Where I love who I see.

© The Complicated Bunny – 05 Jul 2022

A Cautionary Tail

The cat in the hat,
Sat on the mat,
The dog was feeling blue,
Why be so shy,
Come dry your eye,
You sure it ain’t the flu?
The dog in fog,
Jogged all agog,
Was mad frustrated too,
The cat who sat,
Hat on the mat,
Just didn’t have a clue.

The cat stayed sat,
With hat on mat,
The dog began to chew,
Is that a med,
To fix your head?
The pointed questions flew,
The dog in bog,
Now hogged the grog,
And told the pest to shoo,
Cat full of chat,
Refused to scat,
So dog got drunk on brew.

Now cat on mat,
In hat he sat,
While dog’s impatience grew,
Why do intrude,
With such a mood?
The cat began to spew,
The dog in smog,
With grog to flog,
Exploded into view,
The cat now shat,
Upon said mat,
And dog ripped him in two.

So back to cat,
Now splat on mat,
Where carnage did ensue,
The moral slog,
Don’t poke the dog,
When he is feeling blue,
The grog may fog,
The cog of dog,
But life will amble through,
With no more cat,
In stupid hat,
The dog rejoiced anew.

© The Complicated Bunny – 04 Jul 2022

Having a bit of manic fun with my take on a Dr Seuss classic. One of my favourite writers and a brilliant wordsmith.

Two Hundred Seventeen (for J.B.)

Two hundred seventeen,
Layers peeled away,
We started out,
With fear and doubt,
Persistence won the day,
We built rapport,
And so much more,
I had a lot to say,
Two hundred seventeen,
Still peeling come what may.

Two hundred seventeen,
Voices in the dark,
I ventured in,
We did begin,
So truth could find its mark,
For patience knew,
As knowledge grew,
My words would find their spark,
Two hundred seventeen,
Raw voices set to bark.

Two hundred seventeen,
Traumas to be healed,
We found a way,
To slow decay,
And face what was revealed,
And in our time,
We harnessed rhyme,
So anguish could be sealed,
Two hundred seventeen,
My traumas slowly yield.

Two hundred seventeen,
Moods to mark the day,
My head’s kaput,
With dream’s afoot,
But nature lights the way,
There’s no abyss,
Nor do I miss,
The doorway to foray,
Two hundred seventeen,
My moods are nature’s clay.

Two hundred seventeen,
Poems left to write,
With every verse,
I shed this curse,
Where narcissist’s delight,
No longer prey,
I’ll have my say,
When bark returns to bite,
Two hundred seventeen,
Each poem filled with might.

Two hundred seventeen,
Thank you’s to reward,
If not for you,
I’d still be blue,
And falling on my sword,
But now I find,
I have a mind,
That plays an epic chord,
Two hundred seventeen,
So grateful you’re aboard.

© The Complicated Bunny – 03 Jul 2022

This poem was written for my clinical psychologist, J.B., as a thank you and also a celebration of all the epic work we have done together in therapy.

The Missing Verse

Oh what strange curse,
A missing verse,
Should peer from out the fog,
With brittle teeth,
It fell beneath,
Bipolar’s wretched bog,
It chose to roam,
In parts unknown,
Until it fell to ground,
Where words could spark,
In places dark,
And light each thought profound.

And if this curse,
Gave missing verse,
A reason to subside,
We have to ask,
Is this great task,
A reason now to hide,
We choose to search,
For things that lurch,
As dreams are sent afoot,
But darkened skies,
Bring sunken eyes,
When madness goes kaput.

So if said curse,
Should make things worse,
Don’t dither in your seat,
Dispel the mess,
Of life’s distress,
And rise from your defeat,
So many roads,
To conquer loads,
Push on through fearsome choice,
And don’t be terse,
This missing verse,
Will help you find your voice.

© The Complicated Bunny – 27 Jun 2022

So I was going through my list of poetry in the numbered order they were written as I wanted to see if they could possibly represent a mood chart over the past 22 months of writing. I noticed that I had no poem numbered 87. It was completely missing! Generally my OCD is impossible to ignore so it’s a mystery what happened to it. I decided I definitely needed a poem 87, to fill the gap and to complete my list and appease the OCD gods!

Lost For Words

Lost for words to soothe my mind,
I’m chewing on a lemon rind,
I cannot breathe, I cannot think,
My sanity is on the brink,
And drowning in the deepest hole,
Is where you’ll find my weary soul,
We fashion hope but there’s no cure,
To madness and it’s crazy lure.

So off unto the breach we sail,
And drag behind the benzo trail,
That hardly does a bloody thing,
But make you punch drunk in the ring,
Where pugilists and poets wage,
A war not fit for king nor sage,
Where heavy lies the wretched crown,
A futile mask to wear you down.

So down the rabbit hole you sink,
With spirit lying in the drink,
Too hot to cool, too cold to burn,
No peace at all for which to yearn,
Just raging pain and broken parts,
Still ripped apart by grieving hearts,
And torn by fate whose cruel lament,
Is knowing straight is always bent.

So lost for words to soothe my mind,
An empty head is all you’ll find,
Except on days the crazy flies,
And hurtles me towards the skies,
So I can crash and burn once more,
A Phoenix flapping on the shore,
Awaiting thoughts to clear the way,
For madness brings another day.

© The Complicated Bunny – 26 Jun 2022