Why Do I Bother

Why do I bother confiding at all,
It’s not like it changes a thing,
Nobody gets why I rise and I fall,
I’m feeling punch drunk in the ring,
Society’s normal is all but a ruse,
Conforming perpetuates stress,
I am who I am, if you can’t handle truth,
You do not belong in my mess.

So do not lay folly, to be there for me,
When darkness descends on my worth,
I know you mean well, but your efforts are trite,
I’m falling through hell on this earth,
I do not pretend to know how you feel,
For I am as helpless as you,
So don’t try to walk a mile in my place,
My life doesn’t fit in your shoe.

As hard as it is, to not understand,
Imagine the pretence for me,
Surrounded by people, advice dripping forth,
On issues they can’t even see,
Frustrated, negated, I cannot express,
How lonely it is in my world,
Struggles all tailored completely for me,
With pockets of torment unfurled.

And yet I protest, I’ve been here before,
A watered down version of truth,
How are you doing? I’m doing just fine,
Such pleasantries ache in the tooth,
Just once I would like to be able to hide,
From people who mean me the best,
Cause where is their wisdom at stupid o’clock,
When depression is crushing my chest.

I cannot move on if I cannot be me,
My soul is too wounded to care,
I’m stuck in regret while the world passes by,
“Be Happy”, is too much to bear,
I stick to the shadows where safety exists,
I’d rather be bland than be bling,
Why do I bother confiding at all,
It’s not like it changes a thing.

© The Complicated Bunny – 24 Jan 2021

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